Looking after yourself during separation and divorce
Separation and divorce is never easy. Feelings of anger, sadness and bewilderment are common. Some say that the feelings are similar to bereavement as you have lost someone special. Feelings and emotions during this time can be more complicated however, as you have either chosen to leave your partner or they have chosen to leave you. It can be a confusing time.
Other issues can also be a source of concern. How will you manage financially? Who will help with the children? How often will you get to see them. Will you be able to live in the family home? These are just some of the concerns you may have along with lots of emotional feelings.
It is important that you take good care of yourself during this time. Day to day living can sometimes feel too much, particularly if you have children to look after as well.
• Confide in an adult friend. Someone who knows you well and will let you share your feelings without judgement.
• Recognise that for a time, you may need more specialist support from your GP or a counsellor. This is all completely normal.
• Be kind to yourself. Your focus is to look after you and your children whilst you readjust to your new circumstances.
• Share your personal situation with your boss or HR department so that they can support you.
• Let the children’s school know about the situation. They can assist you by ensuring that your child is coping at school.
• Consider taking financial advice if necessary. At the very least, sit down and look at your financial situation and be realistic on how you are going to manage it.
• Ensure that you make sometime for you to relax and rest.
• Consider mediation as a way of opening lines of communication with your former partner in a supported environment.